Thursday, January 16, 2014

Tragedy Comes In Threes

Have You Heard Of That Saying Tragedy Comes In Threes?

I am starting to believe it. I have had the roughest last year anyone could even begin to imagine. It started when my grandmother passed away in November 2012. Then The Following February, my Father Had a Stroke, only to find out that he had Lung Cancer in his brain, which boils down to that his cancer spread through out his whole body. He under went Brain Surgery and came out like a champ, he's always been a fighter, my hero. The Doctors convinced him to under go Lung surgery in July to remove the cancerous cell in his to right lung by doing an Lobectomy. Well from what I am gathering, Hospice is still caring for my daddy. He had requested them not to tell him what was going on. He looks and as if he was just as healthy as healthy can be, but I know that one day, he will succumb to this horrible disease. I am trying to hold it together, and staying strong for my dad, but to be honest it kills me everyday. I have been traveling back and forth to care for him and spend every moment with him, because I never know when its his last.

If you think this wasn't enough, yet one more tragedy came in to play this year. The Number Three...My children's father. He decided that the world had no more to offer him, and took his life. The feelings that left me when I heard of the news was gut wrenching. I was both sad and mad all in one. I was sad that he took away so much more than his life when he left, I was sad he thought the world couldn't offer him anything else, I was sad for my children who now has no father. Then I got angry, as bad as that sounds, I actually got angry. I was so mad that he was such a coward and had to end his life, ended our children's life, I was mad because he took away not only from his family, but from our children. So close to Christmas, he took the joy out of it, my children's little delicate spirits of something that was suppose to bring families together, tore our world completely apart. He took away from my children's future, no more throwing catch with daddy, No one to give away my daughters at their weddings. He is going to miss the best part of their lives. And that what makes me so angry.

I have always heard that the holidays was the number one time that suicides happen, but I never thought it would be so close to home. I missed the warning signs, I looked past everything. And now I am left with all the what if's. If you or anyone you know is struggling, or showing signs of suicide, don't wait, get help as soon as you see the signs.

This is why I have been absent from blogging. I know everyone was worried, shucks, I was worried myself. I was so far into a deep slump, I didn't think I was ever going to climb out. But I did, I am coping, I am finally reaching the end of the tunnel of which I never thought I would see. I am back. Thanks so much for my awesome readers, followers and fans that has been here, while I was gone. I am so thankful for each and everyone of you!! And I want to thank my best friend over at Mizz Reviews, for staying on my butt and getting me out of this slump I was in. I am so thankful for her and having met her, I just don't know what I would have done without her!! Thanks Lawna, You are my guardian angel!!


Kimberly Bauer said...

I am so sorry for all that you have had to endure. My prayers are with you and your family. Your kids have you and for that they should be thankful. Fingers are still crossed for your Dad. Nothing I say will make these tragedies any better but sharing your problems makes you a strong person and you'll make it through!

Sandra VanHoey said...

Oh gosh Jenni..I had a feeling and a bad one that things were not going well for you. I am so very sorry and you started out asking about tragedy coming in three....I sure have. Let me tell you in my case, I losta brother at 18, 2 years later my dad then 3 days after his funeral, another brother in his 30's. It is the worse thing but that seems to have happened over and over with things happening in 3's. There were others in between that as well so maybe it was a continuing cycle since 2 years after my brother and dad, my mom was gone as well. I will pray for you and that God may comofort you and your family during these most difficult times. Ya know Jenni, Lawna is awesome and you can just tell a super friend to you which is who you really need like that right now. Stay strong my friend and although we don't have the answers to all of this, God does. I had to tell myself, it is not forever, it is only until we get called home then we will see the again. I must say, I have really missed you and not seeing you online. You and your family come first...God Bless you!

Tracy Cotton Pickin Cute said...

Oh Dear Jenni, my heart just breaks for you and your beautiful children. I wish I had words that would take it all away and comfort each of you. I'm saying a prayer for your father that angels surround him with comfort and that the healing hand of our father is over your entire family. I certainly understand your anger and it's an important part of any grieving process.

Much love and hugs...Tracy

VickeC said...

Jenni,,I am so sorry,,,I wasn't aware of this,,you an your children are in my thoughts an prayers Vickie

Sandy Cain said...

Jenni....there are no words that will make you feel better right now...just know that you are NOT alone....we have all gone through tragedy, one way or another, and we are your sisters in spirit if not in blood, and are here for you. Although we may not know each other offline, trust and believe you can contact any of us ANY TIME if you need someone to listen, or a shoulder to cry on. Your friend, Sandy (((HUGS))

Mary Gallardo said...

I am so sorry to hear about your father. I am also going through a similar case of a dad with lung cancer. Tragedy really does come in threes.