Thursday, January 16, 2014
Tragedy Comes In Threes
Have You Heard Of That Saying Tragedy Comes In Threes?
I am starting to believe it. I have had the roughest last year anyone could even begin to imagine. It started when my grandmother passed away in November 2012. Then The Following February, my Father Had a Stroke, only to find out that he had Lung Cancer in his brain, which boils down to that his cancer spread through out his whole body. He under went Brain Surgery and came out like a champ, he's always been a fighter, my hero. The Doctors convinced him to under go Lung surgery in July to remove the cancerous cell in his to right lung by doing an Lobectomy. Well from what I am gathering, Hospice is still caring for my daddy. He had requested them not to tell him what was going on. He looks and as if he was just as healthy as healthy can be, but I know that one day, he will succumb to this horrible disease. I am trying to hold it together, and staying strong for my dad, but to be honest it kills me everyday. I have been traveling back and forth to care for him and spend every moment with him, because I never know when its his last.
If you think this wasn't enough, yet one more tragedy came in to play this year. The Number Three...My children's father. He decided that the world had no more to offer him, and took his life. The feelings that left me when I heard of the news was gut wrenching. I was both sad and mad all in one. I was sad that he took away so much more than his life when he left, I was sad he thought the world couldn't offer him anything else, I was sad for my children who now has no father. Then I got angry, as bad as that sounds, I actually got angry. I was so mad that he was such a coward and had to end his life, ended our children's life, I was mad because he took away not only from his family, but from our children. So close to Christmas, he took the joy out of it, my children's little delicate spirits of something that was suppose to bring families together, tore our world completely apart. He took away from my children's future, no more throwing catch with daddy, No one to give away my daughters at their weddings. He is going to miss the best part of their lives. And that what makes me so angry.
I have always heard that the holidays was the number one time that suicides happen, but I never thought it would be so close to home. I missed the warning signs, I looked past everything. And now I am left with all the what if's. If you or anyone you know is struggling, or showing signs of suicide, don't wait, get help as soon as you see the signs.
This is why I have been absent from blogging. I know everyone was worried, shucks, I was worried myself. I was so far into a deep slump, I didn't think I was ever going to climb out. But I did, I am coping, I am finally reaching the end of the tunnel of which I never thought I would see. I am back. Thanks so much for my awesome readers, followers and fans that has been here, while I was gone. I am so thankful for each and everyone of you!! And I want to thank my best friend over at Mizz Reviews, for staying on my butt and getting me out of this slump I was in. I am so thankful for her and having met her, I just don't know what I would have done without her!! Thanks Lawna, You are my guardian angel!!